Fear of all magnitudes

"Hope; it's the only thing stronger than fear.

A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous."

Yes..........I am worried, I am fearful. The kind that cannot be quelled by kind reassurances because The Admission is always looming in my surroundings, much like a stubborn 5-year-old menace who refuses to be ignored. My fears cannot be helped nor are they unfounded, for I am no less prone to rejection than anyone else. It is mostly my inner devil who is playing with my nervous system (ha ha, my attempt of a pun); it who gets most of its ammunition from The Pressure. The Pressure, yes, now how shall I put it? It is packaged to come across as gentle and warming, like how a baby is given a soft push to encourage him to take his first steps. But under that push is an underlying containment of great expectations for the baby to succeed; yes he will walk, he must walk! A result of any other would bring about disappointment, sympathy, and the worst of them all, mean bleakness for the poor child's future. In other words, The Pressure completes the equation for the product of The Fear.

It is not in any of my intention to inflict upon others The Fear; I will use my fullest capabilities to contain it. But let it be known that however confident some people might have of me emerging triumphant of The Admission, it is almost unreasonable of them to tell me to quit being a worrywart. Them expecting me to succeed only adds on to The Pressure and, by the logic of the equation, contributes to a higher amount of The Fear.

And thus I shall sign off with this apt quote lift.